Working titles:
A Royal Pain
The Royals
These are scenes from the December 30, 1994 first revision draft of the script for the episode Prince of Wails written by Lee Goldberg and William Rabkin. These scenes did not make it into the final episode due to time and story considerations.
Originally, there was a bit more to the Sheriff's broadcast which our Sliders first saw...
SHERIFF
Starting today, you middle income
commoners will only have to pay 74%
of your gross earnings to my
government, a generous 2% decrease.
CANNED APPLAUSE rings out... then abruptly stops.
SHERIFF (CONT'D)
In other news, as part of Operation
Safe Streets, I'm pleased to tell
you we have executed more criminals
in the first six months of this year
than all of last year combined.
MORE CANNED APPLAUSE. A horrified Arturo grabs the remote and changes the channel. Amazingly, the same live feed of Arturo is *every* channel. Arturo pushes the off button.
QUINN
So much for blissful anonymity.
And did you know that originally the Sliders were supposed to camp out after the car broke down in Oakland?
WADE
How 'bout the sexual revolution?
(off their looks)
It's always been my favorite.
The road is going uphill now, Quinn stops pushing.
QUINN
We aren't getting anywhere. This
seems like as good a place as any to
camp out.
EXT. CLEARING NEAR THE ROAD - DAY
The Sliders have built a smal fire, using tabloid newspaper as kindling. Wade is warming herself, checking out the remaining tabloids, which scream degrading headlines about the prince.
QUINN
We're gonna need more wood. I'll be
right back.
Arturo and Rembrandt join Wade by the fire.
ARTURO
This is not so bad. In our world,
this beautiful glade would be
downtown Oakland.
WADE
(off the tabloid)
I can't believe this Prince Harold
guy -- what a total idiot. He only
likes women under twenty or over
sixty! And he's quoted as saying
that poor people have chosen to be
poor, because otherwise they'd be
rich!
She tosses a picture of the prince into the fire -- looks to us very much like Prince Charles in his mid-twenties.
CUT TO
ACROSS THE GLADE
Quinn wanders along out of sight of the others, collecting wood. He picks up an odd piece. It's a vertical section of a broken sign. Nearby he finds it's pair: ROYAL GAME PRESERVE. TRESPASSERS WILL BE SHOT ON SIGHT BY ORDER OF HIS MAJESTY. Uh-oh. That's when he notices the oncoming RUMBLING OF ENGINES. THREE POLICE CARS are coming up the road right at him. He drops the wood and starts to run, but the cruisers cut him off --
HURLEY'S VOICE
(over loudspeaker)
You are in a restricted area!
(like LAPD)
Stay right where you are!
Quinn puts his hands up, uh-oh. As armed Sheriff's deputies exit the cruisers --
EXT. FOREST CLEARING - RESUME WADE, REMBRANDT AND ARTURO
Wade reading --
WADE
Here's one: "Feudal society built
this great empire: It may not be
perfect but it's the best system on
Earth." What's he talking about?
ARTURO
As we decided: we're tourists on
this world. Let's not be
judgmental.
WADE
(off the prince's
newspapers photo)
Look at this guy -- He looks like
Alfalfa. How's a nerd like that get
to be king?
REMBRANDT
It's the army.
ARTURO
(pompous)
On the contrary -- history shows a
military elite tends to depose,
rather than impose, monarchical
hierarchies --
REMBRANDT
No, I mean *it's the army*!
He points over the rise where the military-looking police cruisers are coming right at them --
THE LEAD COP CAR
brakes to a stop, deputies exiting.
HURLEY'S VOICE
(over loudspeaker)
Put your hands over your heads!
REMBRANDT
(to Quinn)
Now this *is* like downtown Oakland.
CAPTAIN HURLEY
exits the cruiser, precise and officious. He's got an eye patch --
HURLEY
Keep your hands where I can see 'em!
Arturo steps forward. Hurley reacts with surprise.
HURLEY
Sheriff -- I didn't expect to see
you here.
ARTURO
Well, now you've seen me.
HURLEY
Are you here to oversee the
operation?
ARTURO
(goes with it)
That's the general idea.
HURLEY
We were concerned -- we've been
trying to secure the area and we
saw a perpetrator hiding in the
undergrowth.
That's when Quinn, riding in the back seat of one of the cruisers, jumps out --
ARTURO
Your so-called "perpetrator" is
with-me.
HURLEY
(to Quinn)
Our apologies, sir.
(then; to Arturo)
Do you want to ride with us, sir?
So you can witness it firsthand?
ARTURO
I've made my own arrangements.
(then)
Thank you, Officer.
HURLEY
Officer?
ARTURO
Er, uh, Captain.
Captain Hurley, a tad perplexed, climbs in; the cruisers rumble off. The Sliders let out a collective sigh of relief.
WADE
(to Quinn)
You okay?
QUINN
I heard the cops talking. They're
planning to ambush some guy in the
woods.
(off them)
He probably took one of the king's
deer to feed his family.
(they know where he's
headed; off their
grumbling)
I know we decided not to interfere,
but c'mon -- these guys mean
business. They have sharp shooter
rifles back there.
And this led into the Sliders pulling Harold down in the forest to save him from the riflers...and in this version, Arturo screaming out "Hold your fire!".
And Harold had an extra line as the Sliders are coming out of the forest, and Arturo is trying to convince Harold he isn't the Sheriff...
PRINCE
Indeed. And I'm not Prince Harold,
and this isn't my game preserve, and
that's not your crest on the door of
that Jaguar.
And when the Sheriff brought out his "critics" on his television show? Some differences...
ANGLE - THE WINGS - MICROPHONES
set up in the aisles. A blue haired woman leads off --
OLD WOMAN
I think you're doing a great job. I
love your new format.
SHERIFF
Miss Miller! Good to have you with
us again --
OLD WOMAN
But --
SHERIFF
But what?
OLD WOMAN
Frankly, you look terrible. Have
you lost weight?
SHERIFF
I'm sorry to hear that I look so
terrible, especially to you --
OLD LADY
I brought you some soup. I made it
with my last chicken!
She pushes forward, holding a Tupperware container --
SHERIFF
Miss Miller, don't ever change.
Yes, send that up --
A page does as bidden --
SHERIFF (CONT'D)
Her last chicken -- now that's true
service to the realm --
The producers cues a tech, canned applause (O.S.).
SHERIFF (CONT'D)
(who's next?)
You, sir?
WORKER
Yes, Sheriff. We don't have enough
traffic lights in my neighborhood.
SHERIFF
Where is that, sir?
WORKER
Near the Presidio. We get a lot of
tourist traffic down there, and I've
been after the City about it, and
the other day one of the kids on the
street was hit by a car.
Silence. The Sheriff leans forward, evidently concerned.
WORKER
I know you're doing your best, sir
-- It's the Prince to blame. All
coronation, and his junkets all over
the world -- and nothing left for
the little people.
The producer cues -- canned audience response (Hiss! Boo!) at the mere mention of the Prince. The Sheriff holds his hand up as if to quell this --
SHERIFF
We all know I serve at the bidding
of the Prince.
(then)
And of his appetites. He's royalty,
and I'm a mere public servant.
WORKER
But sir, he doesn't even care --
SHERIFF
Give your name to the producers
after the show.
We'll find the money for that
traffic light, *somewhere*, even if
I have to dip into my discretionary
allowance to do it!
Wild applause (canned)(O.S.).
SHERIFF (CONT'D)
Time for one more --
And from there it goes on as we saw, with the tax complainer coming up and getting booed off...
The end of the Sheriff's broadcast just after the man is booed off was different as well...
SHERIFF
Okay, and that's all the time we
have --
(then)
I want to thank my guests -- Paul
and Linda McCartney and please join
us tomorrow, when my guests will be
Jaye Davidson, the Governor of
India, Stanley Nehru -- with some
terrific tandoon tips for holidays
-- and the inter-colonial ski gold
medalist, Eddie the Eagle -- and
we're out of here.
Taped anthem swells -- Rule Britannia -- and as the producer signals for a commercial we --
JUMP CUT TO
INT. STUDIO - BACKSTAGE - DAY - SHERIFF
is furious.
And we all know where it went from there...
Some more missing alternate history...you thought the Revolutionary War outcome was the only change?
This occurs during the Wade/Harold conversation in the prison cell...
WADE (CONT'D)
Your Highness, you've gotta accept
this -- He's not the Sheriff. He
just looks like him.
(off the Prince)
You don't get it, do you? You
weren't out there hunting grouse,
you were being hunted -- by your
good friend and benefactor and
public relations guru -- the
Sheriff.
PRINCE
Nonsense! Why, why, that's the sort
of paranoia enemies of the crown
have been trying to incite for
hundreds of years.
(off Wade)
I read all about that in MacBeth and
Hamlet and the rest of those
seditious stories -- I remind you
that's why my great ancestor, Queen
Elizabeth, had that William
Shakespeare hanged for treason.
WADE
Yeah, well, I saw Mel Gibson in
Hamlet and it rang pretty true to
me.
(then)
Tell me something: if you get to be
king, you'll rule the land, right?
And the final version entered back into the conversation around that point...
And from yet another Wade/Harold prison cell conversation later...
PRINCE
Are you in love with Quinn?
WADE
(flushes again)
Look, even if I was, that's not the
point.
(off which)
Harold, look -- you're a great guy.
It's a question of timing, a lot of
other factors.
PRINCE
Like what?
WADE
Like you're goign to be king and I
work in an electronics store with
Monday and Wednesday off.
PRINCE
(disappoinment)
Of course. You have other
dimensions to go to and God
knows what else to deal with.
WADE
I'm trying to be honest with you.
(off his discouragement)
Let's take it a step at a time,
okay?
(then)
Try to get some sleep.
And when the prince escapes, there was a missing sequence...
QUINN
(hands her the timer)
If I'm not back in twenty-four
hours, slide without me.
Off Rebecca, watching this play out --
CUT TO
EXT. STREET - "BOXVILLE" - THE PRINCE
walking cautiously through this desolated part of the city. Homeless men, vagrants -- refirgerator boxes serving as shelter from the wind and rain.
A PANHANDLER
extends a ragged paw --
PRINCE
I'm sorry. I left my British
Express card in the palace.
The Prince continues on. He's clearly very moved by what he sees (We need to sell this here -- hard).
ANGLE - TWO HOMELESS MEN
follow the Prince with their eyes -- an easy mark in his topsider moccassins and herringbone tweed. They get to their feet, a sense of menace, they're going to take him off --
A SHERIFF'S CRUISER
siren blaring, rushes past. Intimidated, the homeless men withdraw --
The rest continues as we saw it...with Harold discovering that siren was from the cruiser that captured Quinn.
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